Monday, August 15, 2011

Manmohan's Independence Day Speech Analyzed

We have taken Highlights of Prime Minister Manmohan Singh's Independence Day speech as reported at Yahoo. We have made guesses about the intended meanings and purported actions from those highlights. Sometimes we have put our rejoinders.

We share with our readers some of our insights. Your blood should boil, but nevertheless you must also enjoy the humor!

Manmohan's thoughts in Italy (italics) and our reactions in bold.

* Without understanding and restraint, our security and integrity can get adversely affected.

Therefore, despite repeated terror attacks we must keep talking with Pakistan.

* Some people who want to create disturbances in the country so that our progress gets stalled.

They want our progress towards a Islamic nation

* This is the time 'to rise above our personal or political interests and build consensus on issues of national importance'.

OK. Rise above your interests and resign man!

* We have provided political stability and socio and economic progress.

Stability for stable social and economic progress of individuals steeped in crime and corruption.

* We have established an environment of communal harmony in the country.

Muslims, Christians and minorities can harmoniously loot Hindus.

* His seven years have seen rapid economic development.

Rapid economic development of Suresh Kalmadi, A Raja, and yes Manmohan himself.

* We have taken special care of the needs of our brothers and sisters from Scheduled Castes and Scheduled Tribes, minorities, women and children.

Yes, and for that we loot Hindu men women and children.

* Promises food security legislation soon.

To make the number of lazy bums even larger so that they will vote for congress.

* The country is full of 'confidence and self-respect'.

Full of confidence amongst the Congress politicians in crushing citizens' self-respect.

* Corruption is a big obstacle in national transformation.

And since we are capable of surmounting the largest of obstacles, presently we are focusing on enlarging the obstacle by increasing corruption.

* Corruption should be discussed in a manner that 'should not create an atmosphere in which country's progress comes into question'.

And the only way the country can progress is by letting Congress loot the nation.

* The government is taking strictest possible action in cases of corruption.

Therefore government is taking the strictest possible action to increase corruption.

* There is no single big step which we can take to eradicate corruption.

But there is a single small step you can take. RESIGN.

* Corruption cannot be eradicated unless 'we improve our justice delivery system'.

And yes for that we are increasing the number of Congress sponsored judges so that they will take bribe and give quick decisions.

* Want strong Lokpal to prevent corruption in high places.

And the highest place is that of a peon in Sulabh Shauchalaya.

* Hunger strikes and fast-unto-death will not help.

Very good. Now do you understand why the belief that Mohandas won freedom for us is WRONG?

* Nothing should be done to dilute independence of the judiciary.

Instead their financial dependence on salary must be reduced by facilitating bribery.

* Acknowledges 'misuse of governmental discretion in allocation of scarce resources'.

But does not acknowledge responsibility, therefore will stick to the chair!

* Government taking steps to reduce corruption in government projects.

By reducing the percentage to be paid as bribes.

* Government will lay down principles and practices with regard to government purchases.

For that we will form a committee which will look into forming a committee to form a committee ...

* No government has a 'magic wand' to eradicate corruption.

Your government has a magic wand to reduce corruption. RESIGN

* We have to fight against corruption on many fronts.

And we are those many fronts!

* Compliments farmers on producing a record level food grains.

Farmers in India or elsewhere?

* We need a second Green Revolution.

It is already happening stupid. The Islam revolution.

* Acknowledges 'a phase of sustained high inflation'.

Promises only intermittent high inflation.

* Our government fully understands its responsibility to control rise in prices.

And then does nothing or only contrary things about it?

* International markets fuel inflation in India.

So we will increase fuel prices! By the way, are you going to retract your and your buddy Montek's globalization policy?

* Finding a solution to inflation will be our top most priority in the coming months.

As ending terrorism has been our top most priority. And we have succeeded everywhere except for stray cases of Hindu Terrorism.

* Land acquisition must be transparent and fair.

People must know whom to bribe and how much.

* Government will establish a new Education Commission to suggest improvements in education at all levels.

To teach Koran, Bible and Das Capital to promote Secularism and Socialism.

* 12th Five Year Plan should focus on health.

Health of Sonia at Indian tax payer's expense.

* Investment in infrastructure has grown more than one-and-a-half times in the last seven years.

But the infrastructure has not grown! Investment has gone into swiss bank accounts. Investment-banking you know?

* 'We want to make India slum-free...We want the slum dwellers to get ownership of clean houses.'

And we will force the middle class to pay through their bloody noses in form of taxes, cess and sur-charges.

* 'Malnutrition in women and children is a matter of concern for all of us.'

So we have sent Sonia and her children abroad.

* Declining sex ratio 'a matter of deep regret...essential to change the approach with which our society views girls and women'.

We will treat girls and women the way we treated Rajbala at Ramlila grounds.

* Should not lower guard against terrorism; it is a long battle to be fought jointly by the central government, state governments and citizens.

Fought jointly by terrorists, central government, state governments against Hindu citizens.

* Will eradicate the very reasons which gave rise to Naxalism.

We will eradicate Hinduism by second green revolution (Islam)?

* Warns against climate change and promises 'an environmental assessment and monitoring authority to streamline the process of environmental clearances'.

So that we can streamline the bribe-taking process.

* Acknowledges the younger generation's higher aspirations; institutions should tap our people's potential.

Tap the people's potential hard so that it cracks.

* 'Our entrepreneurs and businessmen should not feel constrained in their activities.'

They should overcome constraints by using streamlined bribing methods to pay bribes to ministers in congress.

* 'We should all stay away from tactics that create suspicion or apprehension among those connected with industry, business and investment.'

So please do not harass Nira Radia.

* Development should not increase inequalities.

So we must rob the middle class and redistribute wealth to our vote bank.

* We have the collective capacities and the confidence to deal with tensions and conflicts in society.

We will collect Muslim mobs under the able guidance of Dog-singhs, Man-ish Tiwaris, Sanjiv Bhatts, Rahul Sharmas, and deal with tensions and conflicts.

Merely because we have used a satirical approach, it should not convey to our readers that we have any less anger. Every extra single day that this government survives, it pushes deeper a knife into the heart and soul of our nation.

And yes, you are welcome to suggest your own insights!

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